Talk of the Town

 by Anne Ward

“Blackpool! What  attractions  has  Blackpool  got,  huh?”

"Aren’t  I  attractive?  Me?,   after  all   I’m  the  town  they  are  talking  about! If  I  wasn’t  here  and  as  wonderful  as  I  am, they  wouldn’t  have  anywhere  to  put  their attractions.

“No  it’s about time they gave me some credit, because  of my position on the map I provide  my  own  microclimate, which  means  my  weather  is  just  that  bit  different  to  the human  forecast.

"Here  it's ruled  by the  Irish  Sea,  very  unpredictable,  can  be  calm,  rough  or  stormy,   sometimes  all  in  the  same day. My  sandy  beaches  are  inviting. Watch  out  for the tide. It  creeps  in  when  you  aren’t   looking. Keeps  you  on  your  toes.

"I  have  eleven   miles  of  coast line  and  my  very  own smart  new  tram. It runs smoothly up and  down  its  track  there and  back. It’s  such  fun,  of course.  I  have  a train  as well. Oh  yes! Mine  is  an  end  of  line  station,  all the best  trains  come to see me!

"To  the  south  I  have  an  airport  with  planes  going  to  destinations  were they  speak  foreign languages,  it’s  all  Greek  to  me. 

"I  hear  some  dreadful  news  reports  about  Blackpool. Those  humans get  drunk,  fall  down, come  dressed  in odd clothing, doing  strange  things.   They say, 'Blackpool this and Blackpool that...' but it’s not  me. It’s  the  humans that  are  to  blame,  they  give  me  a  bad  name  and  that  hurts!

"I  have  a   friend called  Stanley. He’s  a  park,   a  haven  of  green with  trees,  flowers, birds, squirrels, a lake  and  a bandstand. A  place  were humans can  play, rest  and walk  around  in safety. Even  he  has  problems. It  seems  that  some  of  those  humans  want to cause mischief and spoil what  he has to offer.

"However, not  all  humans  are  alike. Some  do care  how  I  look  and  want  to  keep  me  well maintained,   so  I  strike  a  balance  between  good  and  not   so  considerate. To  survive  I  have to  be  everyone’s  friend. It’s  hard  when  they  keep  digging  me  up,  removing  this  and  not  replacing  that.   Stanley  is  upset. They’ve  even  taken his lions away  now  for fear they would be damaged.  I comforted him, saying they would  be safer with their  friends  in Stroud.

"This  is me  Blackpool  a  coastal town  in Lancashire and now  I  have  revealed  my  feelings.

"Whilst I welcome visitors openly perhaps they may spare a  thought  for me and treat me with the respect I deserve. Remember if I wasn’t  here  they  couldn’t  be!”